Am 29. November kommt ein wirklich ungewöhnlicher Film ins Kino: “The Man with the Iron Fists”. Auf dem Regiestuhl ein gewissern RZA, der ja wohl bisher eher für Musik bekannt war. Auch das Drehbuch hat er geschrieben, zusammen mit Eli Roth. Und der Cast ist auch ungewöhnlich… gut – seht selbst:
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Chuck Norris can’t wear a condom, there is no prctteoion from Chuck Norris.94% of women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were really fat and ugly.Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris. Then he roundhouse kicked them for running away.70% of most people’s body weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris’ body weight is dick.Chuck Norris uses a live rattlesnake for a condom.All women lost there virginity to Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Germany.
Chuck Norris doesn’t laugh, he Chuckles.What does Chuck Norris put in his milk? CHUCKlate NORRISment!There is no I in team but there is in Chuck Norris.Sperm whales are pourdced every time Chuck Norris cums!Did you know that the force of the North, the mouth of the south, the beast of the east, and the best of the west, are all one man! Chuck Norris!!!Everytime Chuck Norris does a roundhouse kick, time slows down!A solar eclipse only occurs everytime Chuck Norris takes a shit!The only thing that can kill Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, Micheal Meyers, and Leatherface, is a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris!Chuckie from Child’s Play, is actaully Chuck Norris’s doll from his youth!Chuck Norris is Darth Vader’s father!When the Grimm Reaper is on vacation, Chuck Norris takes over!Chuck Norris can see with his eyes closed!Chuck Norris can hear hair grow!Chuck Norris makes pregnant women pregnant!The Hulk reverts back to Bruce Banner when Chuck Norris is around!Chuck Norris uses Samurai swords for toothpicks!Chuck Norris has no heart, it’s a black hole!Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kicks can produce Mach 10 sound vibrations, light distortion, a 10.4 apacalypse quake, illegal movements that break Murphy’s, Boyle’s, and Newton’s laws of science, and causes a ripple in time, that causes time to repeat so repititiously that you suffer Chuck Norris kicks multiple times by accident!!!
Whats the difference beteewn a road kill dog and a road kill lawyer? Nothing they both got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris.People don’t take Chaser pills to get over a hang over, they chew Chuck Norris pellets.Someone once called Chuck Norris gay, Chuck Norris immediatey roundhouse kicked him in the face so hard his daughter can’t sing, this victim was called Elvis.In Texas you don’t get capital punishment, you get the Chuck Norris.Because of Paris Hilton’s sex video with Chuck Norris we now know why Nicole Richie looks the way she does.Chuck Norris had sex with N’Sync and they turned into the Spice Girls.Chuck Norris had sex with Earth and made the Grand Canyon.The reason that oxygen gets thinner the higher up you go is because you get farther away from Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris once ate beans and shat it all out. We now call it, well, it’s south of the states.Chuck Norris drives a gremlin but it is blessed by his awesomeness and is now a Lamborgini Diablo.
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